When Everything Starts to Feel Like “Too Much”

There are seasons of life where sometimes everything just feels too much. This might be feeling at a limit and ready to burst during the luteal phase, for those who have a menstrual cycle. It could be during a period of stress, illness, or burnout, where the body and mind have had to deal with so much and there’s a full body sense of “I can’t take anymore!” It could be after a big life transition such as a break-up or new diagnosis.

Often, these moments can point us towards our boundaries, or the places where our capacity is being stretched beyond what feels manageable. Sometimes that “everything is too much” feeling can be an invitation to revisit our boundaries, come back to our body, and feel into where our energetic edges are. 

When I’m talking about capacity here, I’m referring to how much we’re able to hold or respond to at any given time. Our capacity can shift depending on things like stress, illness, burnout, or where we are in our menstrual cycle. Sometimes we might have more capacity to show up for others, work projects, creative pursuits etc. And sometimes we can have less capacity, for example if it’s a high symptom week and all our energy is taken up focusing on just getting through the day.

In my Somatic Therapy and integrative healing sessions, we create space to feel into capacity and adapt the sessions accordingly so I can meet you where you’re at. There’s lots of ways you can explore this inner listening on your own too, that I’ll go into with 3 example practices later in this blog.  

 

 

Feeling Boundaries in the Body

Boundaries are the ways we respond to that capacity. From a somatic perspective, these boundaries can be felt in the body. This will feel different depending on the person. It could be a sense of openness, of wanting to lean in towards something, or a sense of contraction, a feeling of wanting to retract away from it. It can be a way of feeling what is a “yes” and what is a “no” on any given day.

Energetic edges are what acts as the parameter around being in a place where we can still show up and contain ourselves, without overstretching or over-giving. That “everything feels too much” moment can happen when we push, or are pushed to - or beyond - our energetic edges. 

 

 

Boundaries and the Nervous System

From a nervous system perspective, the state our nervous system is in can impact our sense of boundaries. We can organise these into 3 types: under-boundaried (overgiving), over-boundaried (rigid), and responsive (flexible). 

When Boundaries Feel Hard to Hold (Freeze & Fawn)

• Freeze and fawn can make it much harder to say “no”
• This nervous system state can be associated with being under-boundaried / overgiving
• Sometimes this can be linked to people pleasing, a survival strategy to try to feel safe by bypassing our own boundaries to please others

When Boundaries Become Rigid (Fight & Flight)

• When in fight or flight our boundaries can become too rigid
• This nervous system state can be associated with being over-boundaried
• Sometimes this can be linked to a sense of having to protect yourself so putting up stronger boundaries as a defense 

When Boundaries Feel More Fluid (Regulation)

• When we’re feeling regulated, we can have a clearer felt sense in our bodies of what are boundaries are
• From this regulated nervous system state, our boundaries can be more responsive and flexible
• We can have access to a felt sense of “yes”, “no” and “maybe”, without the confusion, or intensity, thrown over it by freeze/ fawn or fight/ flight.
  

 

Boundaries are a practice, they are fluid, they change. As I said earlier, our capacity changes a lot too which impacts our boundaries. When we have more capacity, it’s often easier to access a regulated nervous system state with more flexible boundaries. When capacity is low, and we’re at a limit of what we can handle, it will be harder to access that regulated place.

Boundaries Are a Practice: Listening to Capacity and Change

Bringing awareness to our nervous system states, energetic edges, capacity, and boundaries is an act of care for ourselves and others. The beautiful thing about getting clearer on our own boundaries, and starting conversations about boundaries, is it acts as a permission slip for others to start creating space to explore their own limits and boundaries.

We can take the pressure off to try to “get it right” all the time with our boundaries. We’re allowed to figure it out as we go along, try things out and re-define our boundaries at any time. The practice of boundaries is about listening to our bodies, making space to feel into our energetic edges and to assess our capacity.

Simple Somatic Practices to Explore Your Boundaries

There are all kinds of different somatic practices for boundaries. These can be helpful to start exploring your boundaries, much like going to the gym to train and strengthen muscles, we can find ways to work out our boundaries.

Feeling Your Energetic Edges

• Start with your hands as close to your body as possible then slowly push them out away from you. This can help give you a felt sense of where your body is in space and the energetic edges around it.

A Simple Nervous System Check-In

• Pause, notice the breath, feel whether there is tension present (possible “no”) or a feeling of leaning in, of openness (possible yes).

Practising Yes and No in Everyday Moments

• Feeling into simple things can be a great place to start. This might be something like slowing down to ask yourself “what do i feel like for dinner tonight, what feels like a yes and a no in my body?” then following your cravings. 
• It might be taking a moment to check in with yourself before practicing Yoga or movement, to feel into what kind of practice would feel most supportive that day. 
• The more we practice with smaller everyday things, the easier it becomes with bigger things.

This topic is huge, and full of depth so my intention with this blog post was to gently introduce the themes. It’s impossible to cover everything here so this is meant as a conversation starter, a point of reflection and an invitation to explore boundaries in your own way.

Support for Nervous System Regulation, Burnout, and Trauma

For those of you who are interested in getting some personalised support with exploring these themes, I run 1-1 Somatic Therapy sessions online. The sessions with me are neuro-affirming and trauma-informed to help you reconnect with your body and build resilience.

Somatic therapy is a body-based, trauma-informed approach that gently reconnects you with the wisdom of your nervous system. In sessions, we slow down and gently bring awareness to sensations, breath, movement, and the signals of your nervous system. This creates space for the body to begin processing and releasing stress responses that may have been held for a long time.

Rather than pushing or forcing change, this work is led by curiosity, compassion, and pacing that feels right for you. Over time, your nervous system can begin to rediscover a sense of regulation, resilience, and connection.

1-1 Somatic Therapy can help you to have a closer understanding of your boundaries, capacity, and energetic edges, which can be truly life-changing.

Want to learn more? Book a free discovery call here to meet me, ask questions, and see if we’re a good fit.